You're Looking Very Shane Today
by noothernames
Summary: Santana is out of the Cheerio uniform and into a camouflage jacket. Suddenly she's getting told she's "looking very Shane today". If only she knew what that meant.


In light of the appearance of Santana's gay gay clothes (supposedly in the Valentine's Day episode?), here is a short story. I know, three one-shots in three days but no update to my ongoing Faberry story? Let's just say I'm feeling a lot of Brittana love right now. I reference The L Word in this one, that's still relevant, right? Sooo if you didn't watch any L word or don't know who Shane is this might not make too much sense. By the way I'm getting quite fond of parentheses (if you couldn't tell already). And thanks to Katiecue and the other anons for your very nice reviews in my two recent stories!

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The first time she heard it, she had no idea what to think.

"You're looking very Shane today."

She glared at Sam and he grinned at her before running off to his first period English class.

"The fuck does that mean?"

She went to the bathroom to inspect her appearance for any possible flaws. Her makeup looked nice, and so did her hair, it was down for once, framing her face in soft curls. It had taken her a while to get a hang of picking out clothes to wear instead of wearing a uniform every day since Coach Sylvester kicked her out of the Cheerios but she thought that she had picked a nice-looking outfit now that she wasn't taking (terrible) advice from Stubbles. She was wearing a tight black skirt, black wife beater and a camouflage jacket. All in all she would say that she was looking pretty hot and badass.

Sam's dyslexia must have been confusing his brain, because the only words anyone should be able to use to describe her today are: hot, sexy, badass, and/or fine. Satisfied with her appearance, she exited the bathroom.

When it happened for the second time that day she had more of a reaction to it.

"Santana, you're looking very Shane today."

She slammed her locker door and turned on Tina, who was starting to look like she regretted saying anything.

"What does that mean? Are you saying I look like a man or something? Who the fuck is Shane?" As she spouted each question she took one menacing step after another closer to the Asian girl.

Tina's eyes went wide and her jaw dropped in alarm.

"Uh, er... no! I didn't mean that! Of course you're not a man! Forget I said anything! Oh look there's Mike, well I should be on my way."

The girl dashed off, leaving Santana even more pissed and confused. Was this some kind of inside joke between Tina and Sam? Did those two even talk to each other?

But she found out that it wasn't just them when Puck, Mike, and Finn walked past her on their way to the cafeteria during their lunch period.

"Hey Santana, looking very Shane today!" Finn laughed.

"Yeah, totally," Mike joined in.

"But then again, you're always looking kind of Shane, aren't you?" Puck said with a perverted smile.

What was she supposed to say to that?

The guys laughed like idiots and started doing that stupid thing that boys do where they jostle each other around and push each other into lockers.

God they should just get gay polyandrously married already.

As the day went on she heard it over and over again, each time from a different Glee club member, and each time she failed to garner any answers as to what the hell they meant.

"You're looking pretty Shane today, Lopez," from Lauren Zises.

"Santana, I'd have to say you're looking very Shane today," from Tubbers, who had a shit-eating grin on her face.

"Girl, I didn't believe it when the rest of them told me, but you _are_ looking very Shane today," from Weezy.

The last straw was when she entered Glee club in an unholy fury over the situation and Man Hands of all people said it to her.

"Well hello there Santana, may I compliment you on your attire and add that you are looking very Shane today!"

Santana snapped at the group.

"Really? RuPaul is in on this joke but I'm not? What is it, fuck with Santana's head day? What the hell does that mean?"

The room went dead silent. Santana was taking deep breaths to try to reel in her anger (a technique she had learned in the anger management class she was forced to take) but it didn't seem to be working. These losers were obviously not going to answer her. They were just sitting there, slack-jawed, staring at her blankly. She gritted her teeth and was about to storm out of the room when someone spoke up.

"Well Santana, if you had gone to the L Word marathon I threw for the Glee club last night you would know what it meant," Rachel stated obnoxiously.

It was Santana's turn to stare blankly.

"Huh?"

"Shane is a character on the show, but you declined my invitation so you wouldn't know that."

Oh that's right the midget had asked everyone to come over to her house to watch the show. Santana hadn't figured that anyone (except maybe Puck) would want to hang out with her and watch some show about lesbians having sex and making lady babies or whatever they did (Santana had no idea how lesbians spent their time).

When Rachel asked her if she wanted to come Santana had told her something akin to "No way! I'm straight, I don't want to watch girls go down on each other". Rachel had had the gall to laugh right in her face, as though she had just said the funniest thing in the world, she even wiped away tears of mirth after awhile. After that there was no way Santana was going to go to that stupid party (and there was no way Rachel was ever going to get the smell of sour dairy out of her backpack after Santana unceremoniously dumped a package of yogurt into it).

So now Rachel was telling her that if she had gone she wouldn't have had to endure the torture that was today?

Well that's a bitch.

"Okay, sorry I didn't go to your stupid party, now can you tell me what it means?"

Rachel huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. Ignoring Santana, she went to sit by Quinn, who gave her a smile and put a hand on her knee.

That was _interesting_. Maybe Santana had missed more at the party than just finding out who Shane was. But still, that wasn't an answer.

Finally Brittany stood up from her seat in the back of the room and made her way over to her with an innocent grin that made Santana melt a bit (like how an iceberg melts a tiny little bit but is still capable of bringing down the motherfucking Titanic). The blonde penetrated her personal bubble like it was the most natural thing in the world and grabbed Santana's left hand with both of hers. The Latina let the girl lead her to the back of the room (past a pouting Artie) and distractedly took a seat. Brittany brushed a dark lock behind Santana's ear and leaned into her.

"They mean you look hot, San"

Ignoring the fact that the whole Glee club was in the room, as well as the fact that Mr Schue was bound to walk in any second now, Brittany kissed her fully on the lips.

Santana wasn't complaining.

As she felt Brittany's tongue swipe her lower lip, asking for entrance she felt all the frustration and anger she had collected during the day just slide out of her. The only thing that could ruin it would be if Quinn or Man Hands told them to get a room, but last time she checked those two didn't have a death wish. When Brittany finally drew away Santana let out an uncharacteristically girly sigh of contentment.

"...and totally gay."

Wait, what?


End file.
